Nikki LeDree

Just a quickie to write about the dream I just had.

I was with my dad in some supermarket, they sold huge bars of chocolate, and he said he would buy me one. Off I went around the shop trying to decide which one I wanted. I was really conscious of spending loads of my dad’s money so I tried to find one that was the best value or didn’t cost loads. Meanwhile there were all these TV’s around showing some news segment that looked a bit like the shopping channel. There was this conveyer belt on the screen with all these babies on. The voice over said something like Nurofen uncovered – the product contains 35% baby E23w (E something anyway).

A woman walked on the screen in some kind of skirt suit, like they do, making hand gestures as she talked about it. Then they did one of those bullshit tests where they asked people which they would prefer to take for pain relief a pill of a rival company or the baby. Then it showed people’s wtf reactions. One person asked how they would use the baby for pain relief. So the woman in the trouser suit picked up one of the babies in her arms – like you would normally hold a baby – and spoke to the camera about how the babies had been farmed and modified for use. The participants of the bullshit experiment stood and nodded along with rapped attention.

The trouser suit woman then lifted the baby up with one hand and snapped its neck to one side with this load cracking sound. The head was on hinges and appeared to be hollow. Inside where the neck was there was what looked like the bottom of a pipette. The woman tipped the baby upside down and held the head to one side. There was a white plate in front of her on the now stopped conveyer belt. She squeezed the baby and a few drops of this red liquid came out. The participants had a look of horror on their faces as the woman shook the baby to get out the last few drops.

The plate was now a shallow pool of red. The woman held it up to the camera and spoke into it again. She said how this was the vital ingredient in neurofen’s products and said how this plateful could make over 10,000 units of pain relief. A look of shocked awe over the participants faces. The woman turned to them and asked them now which one they would take. The screen flashed the image of a baby and a pill each on a plate sitting on top of a tray.

Suddenly the participants started to scream in pain, some doubled over, others holding their heads in their hands. The woman spoke into the camera again. She explained how they were being blasted with some sort of ray making them feel pain. A man in a white coat offered them each the choice of the pill and the baby. All but one of them took the pill.

A young woman grabbed the baby and ripped it’s head clean off. She held the body above her with her mouth wide open squirting the contents into her mouth, which was over flowing with the red liquid. She immediately started to have some kind of fit on the floor. The others were all lying on the floor as well.

The camera cut to a shot of the woman looking at them and shaking her head. She started to walk forwards stepping over their bodies along the way. She explained how they had all taken the same dosage of neurofen’s special ingredient. The pill contained 89% of it and that is how much was within the modified baby. She went onto explain how it was a lethal dose and how wrong neurofen was. She explained that the 35% in the average neurofen pill could be lethal if a person were to take more than the recomended amount.

She walked into a white room. It appeared to be a kitchen but everything was white and indistinguishable from the rest of the room. She picked up a small black box which was ontop of a white plate on a bar. She held it up and looked into the camera. She said our product only contains 25% baby E23w. A full 10% less than neurofen. She looked into another camera. Thats a full 10% less chance of death. Turning back to the original camera she smiled and said that’s without compromising on pain relief. Some music started to play and a man with a deep voice spoke over an image of the product.

I realized that I had been watching the TV so I quickly went and grabbed a 12 pack of Diam bars. They were in a clear wrapper and each was a different shade of chocolate. I went over to my dad who was at the checkout he asked me if that’s all I wanted and I said yeah. I asked him if he was getting anything and he pointed to a small black box on the conveyer belt of the checkout.

Then I woke up.

How bloody bizarre is that. Weirdest dream I’ve ever had by far.

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